Wednesday, February 10, 2010

10 Things I Hate About You

I realized up until now, I've been giving a lot of praise to massage therapy.  But let's face it,  every job has it's ups and downs.  Massage therapy is no different and I figured it was time to bring those things up.  Please don't think I am complaining, I just wanted to point out the parts I have come to realize that I do not enjoy about my new career.  If it helps at all, it took me a while to write this list, so even just coming up with 10 things was difficult.


So here is my personal list of things I wish I could change about the industry:

10. Not only does each state has it's own requirements, those requirements can change from town to town.  National Certification will blanket you most of the time (but not always).  So it requires a lot of double and then triple checking to make sure you aren't breaking the law.

9. The lack of requirements to practice massage therapy (in NJ at least).  I put this one right after #10 because the wide range of requirements from state to state... it is so random.  And to find out that the state you live in is okay with people practicing a form of therapy without training... it's scary to think about.

8. Cutting my fingernails.  It's not that big of a deal for the therapist, but it majorly hurts the client to get scratched or poked.  But I am also very vain about my hands... I always loved my hands and how my nails looked.  A side note... all the pictures of massage therapist's hands are seriously fake... no therapist has nails that extend past the nail plate.

7. Carrying the massage table.  The mo-fo is seriously awkward to get thru a doorway and falling off their porch that is not how to make a best 1st impression with a client.

6. Clients with bad hygiene.  I've massaged some seriously icky smelling people.  And if they have dry, cracked feet, you still have to massage it.  There is a limitation of course; diseases of the skin cannot be touched.  But people who just have a bit more BO than usual... it's not always pleasant.

5. How badly massage is imitated in movies... seriously, it doesn't take a lot of time to properly learn how and when to Petrissage!

4. People who think massage is just for pampering or for the rich.  Or people who don't realize the true benefits and how they can extend past the usual Swedish Massage.

3. Massage Envy... it is what McDonalds is to the restaurant business.  Stay away from it.

2. Students who think they are now "experts" about wellness after 5 months of studying.  Don't tell people "just apply heat" when you haven't learned Hydrotherapy yet.  And graduating doesn't mean you know everything... there are continued education classes for a reason.

1. Massage Therapist vs. Masseuse: The sexual connotation behind being a therapist.  There is no other job I can think of that has nothing to do with sex and yet is associated with it due to a few bad apples in the mix.  When you think about cooking, you don't picture people getting stabbed with a knife.  Okay, so that wasn't the best example.  But it's somewhat close to what I'm trying to describe.  So next time you think about a massage, try to keep your mind from wandering over to sex.  It's insulting.


So there is it... a couple of things I wanna change about massage.  Will I change the business of massage therapy?  Most likely not.  Will I change a few minds over the course of my career?  Hopefully.