10 Things I Hate About You

I realized up until now, I've been giving a lot of praise to massage therapy.  But let's face it,  every job has it's ups and downs.  Massage therapy is no different and I figured it was time to bring those things up.  Please don't think I am complaining, I just wanted to point out the parts I have come to realize that I do not enjoy about my new career.  If it helps at all, it took me a while to write this list, so even just coming up with 10 things was difficult.


So here is my personal list of things I wish I could change about the industry:

10. Not only does each state has it's own requirements, those requirements can change from town to town.  National Certification will blanket you most of the time (but not always).  So it requires a lot of double and then triple checking to make sure you aren't breaking the law.

9. The lack of requirements to practice massage therapy (in NJ at least).  I put this one right after #10 because the wide range of requirements from state to state... it is so random.  And to find out that the state you live in is okay with people practicing a form of therapy without training... it's scary to think about.

8. Cutting my fingernails.  It's not that big of a deal for the therapist, but it majorly hurts the client to get scratched or poked.  But I am also very vain about my hands... I always loved my hands and how my nails looked.  A side note... all the pictures of massage therapist's hands are seriously fake... no therapist has nails that extend past the nail plate.

7. Carrying the massage table.  The mo-fo is seriously awkward to get thru a doorway and falling off their porch that is not how to make a best 1st impression with a client.

6. Clients with bad hygiene.  I've massaged some seriously icky smelling people.  And if they have dry, cracked feet, you still have to massage it.  There is a limitation of course; diseases of the skin cannot be touched.  But people who just have a bit more BO than usual... it's not always pleasant.

5. How badly massage is imitated in movies... seriously, it doesn't take a lot of time to properly learn how and when to Petrissage!

4. People who think massage is just for pampering or for the rich.  Or people who don't realize the true benefits and how they can extend past the usual Swedish Massage.

3. Massage Envy... it is what McDonalds is to the restaurant business.  Stay away from it.

2. Students who think they are now "experts" about wellness after 5 months of studying.  Don't tell people "just apply heat" when you haven't learned Hydrotherapy yet.  And graduating doesn't mean you know everything... there are continued education classes for a reason.

1. Massage Therapist vs. Masseuse: The sexual connotation behind being a therapist.  There is no other job I can think of that has nothing to do with sex and yet is associated with it due to a few bad apples in the mix.  When you think about cooking, you don't picture people getting stabbed with a knife.  Okay, so that wasn't the best example.  But it's somewhat close to what I'm trying to describe.  So next time you think about a massage, try to keep your mind from wandering over to sex.  It's insulting.


So there is it... a couple of things I wanna change about massage.  Will I change the business of massage therapy?  Most likely not.  Will I change a few minds over the course of my career?  Hopefully.

What a Pain in the Sacrum

Have you ever gotten a massage?  And I don't mean a quick back rub from your significant other, I mean full on nude beneath sheets, getting up and feeling like you just had the best orgasm of your life kind of massage.  No?  Then you, my friend, do not know what you have been missing.  Oh, and you don't have to be nude to get an amazing massage.  There are over 250 different variations of massage, bodywork, and somatic therapy.  At some point I'll describe the ones I know... which is nowhere near 250.

Anyone who has gone to a spa can tell you one of two things.  1. The massage was great or 2. The massage was horrible.  Like any other profession, therapists do have levels of ability, professionalism, and knowledge.  As a client, all three will affect you.  A therapist can get away with not being the most professional (although they probably won't be very successful).  A therapist could have some amazing natural ability.  But without the knowledge to back that up... then you have a problem on your hands.  Especially if you are the client.

I had the grand experience today of being the client to a student who quite obviously did not have the knowledge to back up his ability.  I use the word "client" loosely... more like "test dummy".  We are currently learning myofascial massage, which involves the stretching of your fascia.  Fascia is the connective tissue that holds everything inside of you in it's shape.  Stretching the fascia gives almost instant relief because it loosens your muscles.  Anyway, myofascial massage pretty much is just putting a little bit of pressure on the muscles and slowly waiting for it to release/stretch.

Notice what I said the pressure goes on.  The muscles.  The soft part of the body.  The part that can actually stretch.  My therapist, either thru lack of memory of the landmarks, or just not understanding the instructions, made the unfortunate mistake of pushing directly on my sacrum (that bony part at the top of your butt cheeks).  Many times.  With his elbow.  With way too much pressure.  I walked away with bruises.

Did I say anything during the massage?  You bet my bruised back I did.  Did he change what he was doing?  Nope.  And that, my friend, is what differentiates between a good therapist and a bad therapist.  I don't mean that because the pressure was too much he was bad... often times it will take a bit of time for the therapist to figure out what pressure is appropriate to the client.  It was because I pointed out what hurt multiple times and it was ignored every single time.  If I was a client in the real world, I would in all likelihood have asked for my money back and would never return.  A good therapist, and usually a great massage, can be judged by how well the therapist listens and, ultimately, how much they care.

Because that is really the reason behind being a therapist.  You have to care about the client.  You have to want to help them.  And I look forward to the day when a client enters my room in great pain and exits without.  Oh yes, I look forward to that day because I will know then that I have improved someone else's life in a way that they couldn't.

Next time: a bit on clients and a return to fun facts!

Ch-Ch-Changes!

Many of my past posts have been centered around my time at massage therapy school, and with good cause.  That is kind of the purpose here.  But recently, the other part of the blog has started to rise it's head and I can't ignore it much longer.  That's right folks... my life is getting in my own way.

That is not to be taken in a bad way.  It's actually a really good thing.  Some people will agree with me that there is nothing worse in life than to be bored.  We could say it is it's own private ring of hell, because it is very hard to get out of that cycle.  This time last year, I was very bored.  I was just moving along, doing the same thing I had been doing for a long, with nothing really surprising me anymore.  I do not like to be bored.  Now, usually just a little change is enough to knock the pandulum off.  That's the way to do it... brick by brick my friend, brick by brick.

Right now, all I can think of is a cartoon character where the ton of bricks falls on them.  Luckily, as we all know, that cartoon character always manages to pull out their little "ouch!" sign and walk away to return again.  I am midway out of those bricks.  My "ouch" sign is being left behind.

I quite literally had a few "ouch" sign moments in the past 2 months.  My dear husband and I have been looking to purchase a house for a while and we finally started seriously looking around in November.  There are few stresses I can think of that would rival first time home buyers trying to find one, especially because this house would be the house we would live in for (hopefully) 10+ years.  It would be the house we would raise our children in; we would put our life savings into.  So yeah... a bit of a challenge.  Anyone who says it doesn't put a strain on their minds, their relationship with the significant other, and on their bank account is a straight up lier.

The second biggest purchase I have made thus far in my life is my car.  I got into a car accident on the morning of New Year's Eve.  Not the best way to finish up a year.  I managed to walk away without a scratch.  My car was another matter; my poor Matrix was ruined, destined for the scrap yard.  So began another purchase hunt, and this one was on the fast track.  Just remembering the pain of 8 dealerships in 4 hours... my "ouch" sign made several appearances.  2 weeks and several miles later, I bought my new car, a 2007 Mazda CX-7... my Little Red.  Until my next huge change in life, she will be my baby.

And finally, the biggest 180 change of the last year, besides my journey thru massage.  Once upon a time, I dabbled in art, not in any sort of way seriously.  The year after college, I managed to stick a few of my pieces into an art show in NYC.  I sold 2 prints and felt on top of the world.  Then nothing.  So I figured, okay, leave the art work behind, move forward.  And I did for 2 years... until I received a phone call in December.  The man who organized the art show called from Berlin, Germany.  He wanted me to do another art show... in Germany!  So I sent him some pictures of my art work from the show and waited.  And waited, creating a bit of artwork here and there, and waited a bit longer.  And then, the phone call.  After showing my work around for a month, he found 2 galleries in Germany and 1 in France interested.  So sometime in the next year, I will (hopefully!!!) be going to Europe for some art shows!  My husband, after the big congratulations, put what we were both thinking right out there: "Can't you just decided what career you want to do?"  My response?  "But I am all of these careers.  I am an artist, a therapist, a designer.  And I will do all of it."  And I will be awesome.

But damn, does that ton of bricks make your head spin when they first hit.

Okay, so that's my life outside of school right now.  Bit complicated.  But you know what?  I kinda like it.  It's better than being suck in a cubical all day, every day unhappily going along until the day you die.  Or worse.  Telling yourself you are happy when you really aren't because you are doing what you said you would be happy doing.

So I say change yourself, make something different.  We almost never end up the way we thought we would.  In almost any regard.  But above all else, be happy.

There Is No 'I' In Quit!

So I feel like a bit of a jerk.  If anyone out there is actually reading this, then I guess I owe you an appology.  After my last post, I had made the decision to stop blogging.  I didn't try to close it up, or give any farewell.  I just stopped.

Now, two months later, I decided I was wrong.  Thank god I didn't say goodbye.  :)  Inspiration came in the form of a few changes in my life, but mostly I told myself I was tired of me, well, quitting.  I am a queen bee of procrastination.  And that creates a lot of opportunity to fail.  But now, my friends, I say "No!".  I will continue my blog.  I will keep writing.  And hopefully, you will learn something new.

I'll start with a brief update.  I had a 3 week break from classes and they restarted this week.  Last semester went very well.  4.0 GPA baby!  I'll write something about the experience of working with clients soon.  We start learning about Myofascial and sports massage.  Lots of stretching, both for the muscles and fascia.  So that's school.  Personal life has gotten, let's say, complicated.  Lots of changes right now.  Some horrible, some wonderful.  Again... another time.

So here we go, friends!  We will restart and pretend we never took a break.  It'll be just like it was... I promise.

"If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of these pieces up and being away." ~ Flavia Weedn