"The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you can hope for.
And the most you can do is live inside that hope."
--Barbara Kingsolver
Two weekends ago (yeah, I fail at timely posts), instead of earning my food money for the week, I drove up to Hoboken and attended Tracy Walton's Caring for Cancer Patients continued education class. It was 4 days of lecture and hands-on work, closing with a clinic with cancer patients/survivors getting massages from us. I don't want to sound overly dramatic, but I think this class has changed how I think about and give massage.
For those who don't know, massage therapists are encouraged to take continued educations classes (required to do so if they're insured, as they should be!). That way they are keeping their education up to date, learning new techniques; all those things that are expected of a professional. I have taken classes before this one, but all others ranged from a few hours to a single day. Four days is... well... long. But it gave us plenty of time to not only get into details and ask a lot of questions, but to get to know 16 very special women and I hope to meet them again in the future.
Oncology is not an easy subject to breach. It reminds us of our mortality and (despite the many treatments), our lack of control over the disease. Many of us have known at least one person who has died from cancer. The difficulty of discussing cancer certainly did not exclude our class. I found we could talk about it in two ways.
One, the clinical way. We discussed how cancer actually spreads, how the body changes, and the side effects from treatments. We manipulated the bolstering to make the client as comfortable as possible. The lectures were easier to handle, discussing the risks of lymphedema and what to do if you suspect a deep vein thrombosis (blood clot). It was... for lack of a better work, removed. Then there was the emotional side. We spent most of the first day meditating, absorbing energy, rooting ourselves and continued to meditate at the opening and closing of each day. For someone who gets giddy at the idea of anatomy and muscle manipulation, it was difficult, to say the least, for me to actually stop, embrace the energy, and not fall apart. When I meditate, I open my mind and lower my defenses. The flood of feelings can definitely overwhelm. And I don't know if this is normal or will become a regular occurrence if I continue meditation. Two days of fighting back the emotions that come with discussing illness, death, and the sadness that can envelop one's life came crashing down on me on Sunday. I had woken up feeling fine, but within 20 minutes of driving to the class I had tears in my eyes. It probably didn't help I was listening to Dala's song, Horses, which (despite actually being about paralysis), I always associated with dying or being seriously ill. Keep a tissue handy.
As I walked into class, I just knew I wouldn't get thru the day without crying. And as usual, I did not disappoint. A few minutes into meditation, Tracy (bless her heart) asked us to open ourselves to all the love and goodness everyone has ever felt for us or thought about us. Yeah, I was gone. And once I started... I couldn't stop. I probably cried for a good 15 minutes straight and kept switching it on at random times thruout the morning. Quite embarrassing. Thankfully, everyone gave me my space (a few were kind enough to offer hugs) and I felt much better that night. I heard somewhere that every woman needs that one day a month (not necessarily during their period, okay boys?!) where they should cry and just let go of everything has got pent up inside. But did my day HAVE to be when surrounded by 16 strangers who couldn't understand the blubbered words coming out of my mouth as I stuff a tissue into my eyes?
Any who...
Beyond the lectures and the hands on at the end of the day, we had a clinic session on the 4th day. We had actual oncology patients come in (they had sent in their medical history earlier and we reviewed our client's the night before) and we got to use our new knowledge right away. The difficulty of the cases really varied as well. Some clients were currently in treatment, some hadn't had treatment in years, and others were beyond the help of treatment. I think what surprised all of us students was how nervous we all were. Almost all of us were actively practicing therapists; we dealt with interviewing clients almost every day. But this was a whole new ball game. And to be honest, having a clinic was probably the best thing for us. We had to breach that barrier of discussing the cancer with the client. I think it's natural when someone is sick to try to treat them as normal as possible and that means NOT talking about the illness, or at least glossing over it. But with the clinic, we had to go shoulder deep in it; we discussed in incredible detail the type, the treatments (sometimes the treatments seemed more invasive than the actual cancer, like having a Hysterectomy (removal of uterus) and Oophorectomy (removal of ovaries) to balance the hormones), the side affects, the medications, and the quality of life they have. It really opened my eyes to beyond the lecture room, to the actual person living what we studied. And when embracing it, I realized some of the people in the room would not be alive in 10 years, 5 years, or even 1 year. That was a whole 'nother emotional roller coaster to ride.
I can't say enough good things about Tracy's Walton's class. I finally got a solid idea of how cancer spreads, thorough overview of the treatments, and how that translates to massage. Cancer patients CAN receive massage at any time before, during, or after treatments. It's just a matter of knowing what they are at risk for, and where to use what level pressure. Sometimes that means no more pressure than if you were applying lotion to your skin (not even rubbing it in, just putting it on!). I definitely appreciate the idea of just being there for your client, not necessarily having an agenda. I usually go into a session with the idea "okay, I'm going to lengthen this muscle" or "I'm going to reduce their back pain" or "I'm going to help them relax for an hour".
But most importantly, I got the opportunity to add techniques and knowledge to my massage repertoire, which will only benefit my current and future clients. In the two weeks since then, I haven't had the opportunity to work with any cancer clients, but I have incorporated the techniques into my normal massage. Several of my regular clients have noticed the difference and enjoyed it. One such technique (bolstering the head so the neck muscles don't have to work to keep it straight) I shall bequeath to you. And the reason for doing so? Because I have been sleeping every night with the bolster under my head instead of a pillow. And the result? I have never slept better and my neck/shoulder pain is SERIOUSLY reduced. So if you have neck/shoulder/back pain, try it! And the best part? It will only cost you the low low price of 5 payments of $29.99! HA! Yeah, no. If you own a bath towel (not a beach towel), then you are good to go. So here we go. I call it The Scroll Roll.
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| Fold your towel in half. (hamburger-way for those who remember Elementary School) |
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| Fold the towel again into thirds. |
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| Roll the edges up like a scroll, but not all the way. Leave about a hand length open. |
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| Turn the towel over so the scrolls are down. |
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| Lay your head down between the scrolls and tuck the corners/edges around until comfy. |
One final note: try taking the pillow you would normally use under your head and put it under your knees. This will prevent/help lower back pain. I will say, I'm a stomach sleeper, so it was really hard to fall asleep face up, but I quickly got used to it. Also (like almost everyone in our poor-posture-era), my shoulders naturally fall forward. Which is BAD. So in the first few days of using the Scroll Roll, I did feel pain in my chest. If you do, worry not! It's just the pectoralis muscles stretching. It's a good thing!
If you try The Scroll Roll way of sleeping, let me know! Comment below and spread the good word!
One last shout out: Tracy Walton was one of the best teacher I have ever had. She's that teacher from high school who reminds you how amazing learning can be. She knows her stuff and had some amazing stories to tell, including giving end-of-life massages and giving a massage to a woman within hours of the loss of her mother. Her stories reminded me that as a therapist, you can't always separate yourself from the client with that standoff-ish line of professionalism. You must open your heart and if necessary, allow yourself to simply be present. But most importantly, she was humble. Cancer research is constantly changing and she honestly admits to not knowing everything. She really opened the door of massage research to me. I hope to be able to be a part of that in my future. The only thing I want more than to help my clients is to further massage in the world as a legitimate form of therapy. And I think we'll get there. But for now, it's one day at a time.
If you would like to know more about oncology massage or Tracy Walton, visit the following websites:
www.s4om.org
www.oncologymassage.net
www.tracywalton.com
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